Conversation about discipline and the TV show Supernanny March 2007
Dana: We were watching Supernanny that one Monday night. Here's how it goes: "Don't hit me! Don't you hit me, young man! Stop it! Stop it! I said stop it!" POW! POW! POW! "Don't hit me!" Marc: Okay, but who was saying that Dana? Dana: The mother. The mother. Marc: So the mother was saying that to her child who was hitting her? Dana: Yeah. Marc: And how old do you think the child was? Dana: Six. Marc: Six? Well at least it wasn't a much older child because a six year old probably can't hurt you too much, right? Dana: What about an older child? Marc: Well, then they might really hurt their mom. Dana: Then what would happen? Marc: She might have to go to the hospital. Dana: And then what would happen to the child then if she had to go to the hospital? Marc: Well first of all, let's backtrack a little. Did the six year old hurt the mom? Dana: Yes! Marc: Oh she did, okay. Was it a boy or a girl that hit their mom? Dana: That was a boy. Marc: And did the boy stop when the mother told him to? Dana: Nope! He kept on. Marc: So how does it work? Did she then contact Supernanny and say: "Can you intervene? My six year old boy is hitting me and I don't know how to make him stop."? Dana: Yeah, she said: "Can you intervene?" She called Supernanny. Marc: So what happened -- Supernanny arrived at the house? Dana: Yeah, Supernanny arrived and said: [imitating a British accent] "Well, look what we got here. Bad behavior. I don't like that." Marc: [Laughter] And was the six year old acting up when the Supernanny arrived? Dana: Yep. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! He wouldn't calm down. He wouldn't calm down! Marc: Did the six year old try to hit Supernanny? Dana: No. Marc: So the six year old only focuses his anger on his mom? Dana: Yeah. Marc: What about any siblings? Were there any brothers or sisters? Dana: I think from what I heard they were all brothers, the week before last. Marc: And did the six year old hit his brothers? Dana: No. Marc: What about his dad? Dana: No. Just his mother. Marc: So what did the kid say after Supernanny scolded him? Do you think he listened? Dana: Yeah. Marc: Why do you think he listened to Supernanny but not his own mom? Dana: Because Supernanny talked to his mother and told the kid's mom not to be mean to the boys. Marc: So the Supernanny found out that the mom wasn't being very nice to her kids. Dana: And the one girl on one show got spanked on the other episodes. The mother was swearing at the kids: "Get your a_ _ in the corner..." You know the name for donkey? A_ _. Marc: Yep. You can say "Ass". That's not a big deal. Dana: "Get your a_ _ in the corner." Ass. The word ass... "...in the corner. I think I'll spank." [Now imitating the Supernanny's British accent]: "No, no. Hold your anger. Oh, I see what I don't like!" Marc: [Laughs] So the Supernanny discourages parents from spanking their children. Dana: Right. Discourages spanking. Encourages parents to ground the kids instead. Marc: Oh okay. What do the kids do when they're grounded? Dana: They make them sit on the naughty stool. Marc: Oh, they have a naughty stool? Dana: For little kids. When they act up. Marc: Where's the naughty stool? Where do they put it? Dana: Like in the middle of the floor, or in the corner of the house? Marc: And how long do they make them sit there? Dana: Three minutes, for hitting. Marc: That doesn't seem very long. Dana: No. Marc: Is it enough for them to calm down? Dana: Yeah. Supernanny steps in the house and keeps the children in line. Marc: So do you think the kids behave better after Supernanny leaves? Dana: Yeah. Marc: Do they ever do like a follow up where they come back to the house because the children didn't change their behavior? Dana: Well sometimes it's good for a while and then it gets atrocious and then Supernanny steps in again. 'Cause I know one time Andra gets mad over her barrettes. Andra -- one of the girls who's four. And I see like a little five year old boy hitting his thirteen year old brother. Marc: A five year old boy hitting a thirteen year old? What did the thirteen year old do? Dana: He had to tell his mom. And I remember when I used to visit -- not here, somewhere else. I visited Natalie back in 1992 in the summer. Natalie asked Audrey, "Do you wanna get spanked in front of everybody?" And then Audrey hit her big brother Saul. Marc: And what happened then? Dana: Natalie said, "You two, Saul and Audrey, you two make up." And then we were gonna go on the trolley car and Audrey was pouting and then I came back from Breckenridge to visit my mom. My mom asked me "There's the door!" She yanked me by my ear and I was gonna hit my mom, but I didn't wanna do it. What if I would have? Marc: Well... How old was your mom then? Dana: My mom, when I was 37, my mom was 67. Marc: You could have hurt her really badly. Dana: What would have happened? Marc: You could have broken her jaw or something. You could have really hurt her badly. It's good that you controlled your anger. Dana: What would the police say? Marc: She probably shouldn't have yanked you by the ear right? Dana: Yeah. What do you think the police would have said to my mom? "Be gentle with your son." Right? What about me? Marc: They'd probably say: "You shouldn't hit a 67 year old woman." That doesn't look very good, you know? Dana: You know what I found out? [Says name of a staff member] I got in a dispute with her and I found out "You should never kick a woman" because... why? You tell me. Why should you not kick a woman? Marc: You shouldn't kick a man either. Dana: Why? [Staff member] is not a man. She's a woman! Marc: But you shouldn't kick anyone right? Dana: Right. Marc: Because you should be able to resolve things without hitting people. Dana: Yeah. Why do little kids hit their mom? Marc: Why does the Supernanny think that children hit their parents? Dana: Because the mother's being mean. Supernanny tells us that the mother is being mean to them. Marc: So she thinks it's avoidable if the parents change their behavior. Dana: Yeah. But sometimes the kids are at fault. Marc: And are there any other methods that the Supernanny uses to punish? Dana: Grounding them for a week. Marc: And what are some of the punishments that the parents use before the Supernanny steps in? Dana: Spanking. How about not letting them not ride their bike for a week? How about take their TVs out of their room -- that's the big thing! Ohhh yeah! No TV. Marc: Do some of them have video games? Dana: I think they do. Marc: And do they prevent the kids from playing their video games? Dana: Yep! [The parents say] "That's what you get for hitting me. Stop it! Stop it! You don't hit me!" Marc: But I bet they don't take away the children's books. Do they do that? Dana: Sometimes. Marc: They take away their books?! Dana: Yeah! Marc: What about music? Do they take away their music? Dana: Yeah. Marc: Any other kinds of discipline they use? What's the worst thing a kid has done to his parents on Supernanny? Dana: The worst thing? Kicking. Marc: That's pretty bad. Because if you have shoes that have a hard sole or toe you could really hurt someone. Probably more than with your hand. Dana: How about with a soft sole? Marc: Well, then you might hurt your own toe. Dana: Can you hurt somebody with a soft sole? Marc: Maybe, but then you might break your own foot. It might backfire. Dana: If it's a hard sole you could hurt someone real bad? How? Marc: Well... we won't get into all that.
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